• Issue No. 1

Tell your Story

by Linden Gross

Everyone has a story to tell, and more and more people want to put theirs on paper. There is no reason not to. With the right approach, writing your memoir can wind up being a leisurely cruise down memory lane instead of a pile up.

Jill Harris, a Pilates instructor with a sarcastic sense of humor and ten years experience leading well-toned bodies through rigorous exercises, wanted to write about her clientele, most of whom—if not too thin—are too rich and neurotic beyond belief. Since her clients routinely turn their private lives public as they work to strengthen and lengthen their physiques, Jill knows about every peccadillo, misstep and folly. When her research revealed that Pilates had never been featured as a chick lit setting, she figured she had a sure bet. The problem was she had never written much of anything, let alone a book. So she came to me. I'm a writing coach.

We started by having Jill write descriptions of all her clients, along with anything and everything she could remember about their sessions, their interactions and their confidences. Those descriptions turned into self-contained essays, with a beginning, middle and end.

Jill had thought she would string them together, either as a series of essays or with a structure that chronicled a week in the life of a Pilates teacher. It didn't take long, however, to realize that my new client had a story of her own to tell. As a single woman on a less than successful hunt for Mr. Right, Jill also mothered a motley collection of birds and bunnies, which roamed and flew free at home, and routinely consulted a pet psychic about her animals' emotional, physical and social wellbeing.

Ironically, Jill was reticent to tell her own story. I finally convinced her that her story, with all its quirkiness, provided the perfect framework on which to hang all the other stories. Without that personal story line, she would end up with a series of entertaining character studies, but not much more.

She agreed to try. As I suspected, her story turned out to be as wonderfully wacky as the stories of her over-the-top clients were entertaining. Now it was time to merge the client stories with her own. The predominant theme of each client's story—coupled with the timeline of when Jill had started to work with them—would dictate where their stories would be included.

As Jill began weaving her clients' stories into her personal story line, she realized that she would need to massage them, or her own story, to effect a seamless transition. Taking my advice, she avoided any other rewriting. Too many writers fall prey to the temptation of refining what they've already written rather than pushing ahead with new material. Not only does this rewriting feed the inevitable tendency to procrastinate, it's premature, since only once you have a completed first draft do you know what material is going to stay or go.

It's been six months since Jill started working on her manuscript. She devotes an hour a day to writing, five days a week. It is her writing fitness regimen, and it works for her. She's about two weeks away from having a completed first draft.

No matter what your story, what worked for Jill will also work for you. Start by making a list of all the people in addition to yourself who will populate your story. Next, write character sketches of each of those people. Add in every little detail you can remember, from how they look and smell to what they do for a living and for fun. Chronicle any stories you remember about them, whether they involve you or not. Don't stress if you can't remember much. As you warm to the task and start writing other character studies, memories will come flooding back. As they do, either return to that character's sketch, or, if you don't want to break away from what you're working on, write yourself notes that are detailed enough to rekindle that memory when the time is right.

Once you've got your character studies well in hand, start writing about yourself. You can start at the beginning of your story (or your life), but you don't have to. Write about anything that strikes you, in whatever order you like. You'll have plenty of time to shuffle the bits and pieces around once you're done.

Now it's time to weave the two strands together. You can use the timeline as your guide, or focus on connecting similar themes together, or both. The key is to people your story with your character studies in a way that enriches your narrative while maintaining its flow. As with any puzzle, progress will slow at this stage, especially since you'll not only need to figure out the order, but the transitions as well. Don't worry about revising the character studies or your own story at this stage. You'll have plenty of time to tinker once you have the beginning, middle and end of your memoir.

"Your system is brilliant!" Jill exclaimed during our most recent coaching session, as she closed in on the final pages of her first draft. It's certainly working for her, and I know it's the way I'm going to attack my own memoir when I finally get around to writing it. If your own memoir is stuck in first gear, this method could work for you, too.

Linden Gross is a national magazine journalist, bestselling writer and successful writing coach, who draws on her editing and writing background—as well as her experience with and love for teaching—when working with others. She specializes in helping people to express their truth and their story, while extending their writing abilities. She believes that we all have the ability to find the writer within. For more information, please visit her website at www.lindengross.com.